We’ve all done it. Looked at a situation and decided someone is making a mistake in love because the warning signs are there. Our goal can be to both save them and to assure ourselves that we wouldn’t make the same mistake since we so clearly see it in others. Or it may be that knowledge makes us feel more powerful, less vulnerable when it comes to our hearts. There are all kinds of good reasons our brain kicks in with judgment.
The real truth is that we don’t really ever know the right choice for someone else to make. We only know the right choice for us to make. That’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is all the facts about something or someone. It the ‘how to’ and is very persuasive and has its own power. Knowledge is important to acquire and build on for anything we are doing in life.
However wisdom is choosing how to apply that knowledge FOR YOU. It can mean flying in the face of prevailing wisdom. Let me share an example. We know that when someone cheats it is a serious danger sign for what is possible in a relationship. Most of the time it is a total deal breaker. But one friend discovered her fiance was cheating a few months before the wedding. Now having lived through that myself and having married the man only to have the behavior continue until the divorce, I sagely told her to pack her bags and run. I was sure it was good knowledge I passed on to her, born of history.
But it wasn’t her truth. She chose to get married. She chose to go through counseling together and keep the marriage plans. It was hard not to judge her, to think what a mistake she was making when I clearly had evidence of that. Yet it turned out differently for her. She listened to herself and made what appears to be a wise choice. They are going on 20 years together, love each other and their family very much in spite of the rocky start. They are happy together. Wisdom versus knowledge.
Where then can you trust yourself even when the world won’t agree?
So often our brains have us focused on an outcome we want to achieve. What we want someone to say, do or feel. This is how our brain guards us from risking too much, by fixating on an outcome. Focusing on that is a way to take us out of what we are feeling right now in this moment. The next step is to ask ourselves what having that outcome will do for us. It’s a way to go around our brains defensive maneuvering. Get clear on what the outcome means to us because that meaning, that feeling is really what we are after more than the outcome – and there’s more than one way to get it.
Getting things ‘right’ based on all we know is a balancing act. Sometimes what’s right for you is going to be out of sync with what you know, what those around you know. And the trick is to drop down inside yourself to find out which situation is which. There is no magic formula that always gives you the right answer. It’s part of the process of learning to trust yourself even more than the noise around you. It can be an adventure if you let it. Yes, it can also be terrifying as well.
Remember fear, doubt, judgment and criticism are our mental bodyguards and you don’t put guards on an empty vault. There is nothing to guard if it’s empty! So if you’ve got ‘the boys’ as I call the fearsome foursome hanging around – then you know there is tremendous power to expand on the other side of those bodyguards. Your job is to trust yourself, welcome the process and do what you know is right for you whether anyone else gets it or not. Because no matter the outcome, you live with more wisdom and that brings priceless gifts that outstrip being ‘right’ every time. Use knowledge to gauge what’s the best choice for you, not as the only choice for you.
If any of you are struggling with that right now and I can support you there are still a few of my discounted readings left. When they are gone, there is no plan for discounts on Hand Analysis anytime in the near future. So if you’d like my support, grab one of the few readings left that are now almost 50% off the new prices.
Meanwhile, take inventory. You have more knowledge and wisdom then your realize. That’s always been true and we forget it…another clever way our brain limits risky expansion. If you can, have a little fun with it, imagine it’s a movie.
If you can’t have fun with it, breathe!