I woke up to a video from a good friend this morning, perfect for the post I’ve been working on for a week now. I’ve struggled to find the right container (it’s a challenge at times) to offer you this next piece of navigation. Then the video appeared because she read my weekly Tarot and looped it back to this Tedx talk that said it so eloquently in story form.
We help each other. All the time. But most of us are so defended against the pain of disappointment, past hurts and stories where we sure we are somehow the loser in relationships that we wind up being just that. Only not for the reasons we believe.
I’m with the Dalai Lama who said ‘anyone who thinks they’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family’. It starts there, the pattern of defending ourselves against feeling helpless, dependent, vulnerable as we all are in childhood. It was tempting in that first moment to think, ‘why didn’t I say it that well?’
Thanks to practice, a good community and personal work I could roll into the magic of just what I needed being there at the perfect time from a trusted friend. I don’t have to have all the answers, I just want you to have the best support possible.
We pile an whole array of skills, accomplishments and reasons to prove we are no longer that child but then something happens with someone and we are furious, hurt, frightened – we fight or flee. Sometimes we beg or negotiate. No matter your IQ, the great equalizer is that emotions don’t listen to logic and the feelings can drop us right back into that helpless place.
I hear so many people talk to me about the pain of feeling unloved. The stories differ but the struggle is the same. I know how many people ache to feel loved, which is what fuels me and what I do. The last story in this video has much to say to that pain point if you watch it.
You are so much more lovable than you know but how does that information get in through our learned defenses. We start by recognizing they are defenses and we are our own worst enemies much of the time. Rather than stronger defenses, I’m advocating more reliance on the love and strength in you that builds the connection you want so much.
Not connection at any cost, not loss of self respect. Instead a sense of yourself that includes awareness of you barbed-wire fortification that keeps you from getting hurt. Some of those are as simple as deflection when you feel too much and can’t take in the sweet stuff. It’s staggering how good we’ve gotten at armor.
Which is why change takes a moment at a time, layered one after the other to build the bridge in our brains, our mirror neurons, so we reach love over and over again. Let the garbage go and take one step.
This short 18 minute video starts you off with a profound illustration and we learn and remember through stories. So I borrowed her’s to give you, both the one she opens with and the one she closes with about an ‘I love you’. It gives you a better path, a relationship bridge to take you out of the pain and into the connection.
The eclipses in February and their matching ones in August activates a constellation called ‘own worst enemy’. How amazing that we have the chance in this year of Relationship Reset to see where WE are the barrier to receiving the love we all long for, no matter how successful, confident and accomplished you may be. Because our defensive mind looks at failure and and says ‘never again’.
When the real strength is in saying look what you’ve survived, so you can apply that strength to get more of what you want. Where can you risk more wisely, but still risk your heart. Use these stories and find the space in between you and those you love where you let the garbage of past pain and disappointment go. Discover your free zone where the truth of both of you live. Meet there. It has a world of love to offer you…
This New Moon with Mercury Retrograde makes it easier than ever to make lasting change… which is why it mattered to me to get this post to you. All the retrograde planets bring you a wealth of insight into YOU, to make the internal changes that really serve you best. Make use of it! Easy is good…
If you want my help, I’m here. See which way feels right for me to work with you with these services. But know the Field is waiting for you, with all the promises of love budding for you to tend. Garden well,