When I say winning the brain game, I’m talking about a home truth where you realize everything that happens to you has something good to offer. That’s not to say the situation is good. Trust me, looking back at this year there are some pretty sucky moments that almost leveled me. This is not a Pollyana view you can’t relate to in difficult moments in your life.
Simply put, the brain and all its wild, weird and yes wonderful little ways is your powerhouse horse to ride. The horse takes you where you want when you know how to work with it.
Lucky for me, I was trained in how to ride a horse, both literally and figuratively. And I want you to know some of what I know so you can have more fun (or less struggle) doing whatever it is you are doing!
For example, I was talking to a wife and new mother this morning. There is upheaval going on around integrating the demands of two jobs and a new baby. The big aha moment for her was when she realized she could reframe the struggle with the ‘old’ paradigm of what he’s not doing to make her feel safe – a very logical and natural fear. Which then led to the struggle to get someone else to do what you want – can you see the cliff on that path?
Or she could approach it as how does this situation give her an opportunity to get closer to her husband. Start talking to each other from that goal rather than getting someone to behave the way you want. How often does that work out long term, hmm? When you choose a bigger mutual target – you both pull together to make that happen rather than the push/pull we know.
That’s the pot of gold our brain stem prefers we NOT focus on in any circumstance. REFRAME MAGIC, folks.
Same thing with a producer who was challenged by information that got back to her about being possibly cut out of a deal. The default went to how to protect herself. The new view says, ‘hmmm, where can this potentially sticky situation teach me more about how I am powerful’? Which is exactly how it turned out by the way because she dealt with it from that stand point instead of contracting into blame, fear and protection. She’s sitting pretty now!
Exactly my point. When we approach anything from how can we get closer, better, stronger and more connected to a person, plan or creative project – GOOD THINGS HAPPEN! I’ve yet to see this point of view fail. In fact I have some pretty dramatic success stories. One of my favorites is the executive who was forced out of his own company only to found a new company that outdid the one that booted him! In fairly record time, too… Just saying, this is good stuff, powerful stuff for you to be putting to use.
I can help. Here’s a clip on fear and how to manage that pesky monster so you get more out of any challenge. Winning the brain game indeed. Fear Has A Job To Do
So whatever it is you are dealing with, know the things working you, can and do work for you when you know how to command them. Like riding a horse as opposed to being thrown by it, right? Let me know if you want help, that’s the work I love to do. Meanwhile, breath. You’ll be doing it anyway, just be aware you are doing it and see how much more power you have than you are using.
We don’t refer to engines as having horsepower for nothing…harness yours starting with the next breath!